Humans’ Guide to Kitty Tricksters

©Asurobson | Getty Images
Last Updated on November 22, 2021 by Natasha Medvetsky
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Autumn is upon us, and human kids aren’t the only ones who enjoy a clever trick (or a treat!) to celebrate the season. Here are six ways cats get tricky during Halloween — and all year long

  1. Chair hijacking

You know the routine: Leave your chair for five minutes to grab a pen or pour some coffee. When you return, the seat cushion has magically grown fluff and ridiculously cute faces. And if you do decide to be a total monster and remove them, they’re the ones who look offended. Now we feel guilty on top of everything else. So, like the all-day suckers we humans are with our cats, we surrender and grab a different, less comfortable, chair.

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  1. Pretend sleeping

Adult cats sleep an average of 15 hours per day, which includes periods of deep sleep, as well as shorter “one-eye-open” cat naps. As we’re well aware, kitties make their own rules, and we’re wise to let a sleeping cat lie. However, sometimes we want to grab our sleeping cat’s attention: “Look at this new catnip cigar!” “Did you see the new box in the kitchen?” “Come say hi to Grandma!” If we elicit any response, it’s usually a sarcastic cock of the ear telling us, “I hear you but choose to ignore you.”

Now, ask the same cat if they’d like a treat or fill the air with the thrilling pop of a cat food can opening, and they’re at your feet faster than you can say “seafood medley.

  1. Hiding — sometimes in plain sight

Felines think they’re excellent at concealing themselves, hidden away from the human eye — and sometimes they are. They’re known to slide behind pillows and find obscure spots in closets. However, their trickiness is sometimes overshadowed by their inability to use non-cat logic or tuck their tails: “They’ll never see me if I stand perfectly still behind this sheer curtain” or “Sure, I’m completely cloaked by the bed skirt.” Apparently the exposed tail doesn’t count. Pretty sneaky, kitty.

©Michael Burrell | Getty Images
  1. Cuddle teasing

Who doesn’t love a kitty cuddle? They’re the best when the cat initiates them, lovingly climbing onto your lap, nuzzling your arm and vibrating your entire body with mega purrs. One of the great pleasures in life is watching a cat heading toward you, that loving look in her eyes, slow blinks aplenty. Then she keeps walking, passing us right by like we were cheap kibble on the clearance rack. Her destination? Some random cardboard box that could never be as cozy as our lap. Those feline tricksters are such teases!

  1. Helping themselves to food

Most kitties operate under the self-prescribed policy of, “What’s mine is mine, and what’s yours is mine.” For some cats, this includes the contents of our plates. Case in point: the “dinner-and-a-show” maneuver. We’re comfy on the sofa, completely engaged in the latest rom-com, plate piled with pizza slices on the nearby TV tray. The cat, borrowing a move from his ancestor’s sneaky hunting techniques, slinks underneath the TV tray and waits for the perfect opportunity to attack the cheesy prey. At the very moment when the screen fills with kissy faces, a lone paw reaches up to the plate and pulls the slice into his clutches. Sometimes we immediately realize the pizza slice is missing, and other times we assume we mindlessly ate it during the kissy-face scene.

  1. Acting like they haven’t been fed

This is an all-too-familiar scenario: We arrive home from an outing and our cats greet us like they haven’t been fed in days. Seriously, this kind of drama is usually only found on bad TV movies, but these cats are convincing. As we quickly rearrange our immediate priorities, placing our near-popped bladder at the bottom of the list, we grab the bowls and prepare to feed the starving furballs. Meanwhile, our partner enters the room only to advise us they’ve just fed the cats. The cats, as always, claim complete innocence.

©Denis Valakhanovich | Getty Images

Treat your trickster with these fun Halloween-themed goodies:

Bow Tie Cat Collar Set — Here for the Boos $26.95; madebycleo.com

Weruva Cats in the Kitchen Pumpkin Jack Splash — Tuna in Pumpkin Soup Recipe $16.99 for 12-pack of 3-ounce pouches; chewy.com

Skull and Pumpkin Catnip Felt Toys $7.45 each; www.etsy.com/shop/TheMinimalistCat

About the Author

Angie Bailey
Angie Bailey

Angie Bailey, an award-winning writer, podcaster, and humorist, is the author of Texts from Mittens and Whiskerslist: The Kitty Classifieds. She’s written cat humor for over a decade, and lives in Minneapolis with her fiancé and two cats — Phoebe, a sassy senior and Janet, a teenage kitty with tons of tortitude.

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